Get That Igbo Chick’s Ankara Inspired Make Up Look…
Beauty vlogger Chidimma Umeh of That IgboChick shares an Ankara inspired makeup tutorial.
I love it!!
Tuesday, 10 September 2013
PWEETY.
Beauty vlogger Chidimma Umeh of That IgboChick shares an Ankara inspired makeup tutorial.
I love it!!
The Law Of “Normal” by Yemi Olusoga
So the
other day, I was having drinks with my friend (let’s call her Funmi), we were
at our favourite spot “catching up”. Now for us catching up is an
exercise, which usually involves an endless selection of random topics, each
one totally unrelated to the next. This continues until one of us gets a phone
call or BB message that makes her blush and then the “date” comes to an abrupt
end. Anyways, the conversation drifted (as it always does) and we somehow went
from talking about Lagos traffic to talking about our mutual friend, Bukky (not
her real name). Now Bukky is getting married in a couple of weeks and Funmi and
I had the following conversation:
Funmi: I
don’t understand that girl. She was telling me she’s wearing a red dress. Who
wears a red dress to her own wedding! Na wa o.
Me: But
it’s her wedding. She can wear whatever she wants.
Funmi: You’re
not serious! Her mother has told her she will not attend the wedding if she
tries it. Everyone knows you should wear white or at least ivory on your
wedding day.
Me: Why?
Funmi: Because
it is normal to wear white!
Me: Why?
Funmi: How
will I know? It’s just normal.
Two hours
of normal Lagos traffic later, I drove into my estate and I started to think of
the concept “normal”. I couldn’t get it out of my head so I put a personal
message on my BB and it read
“Who
determines normal”?
I got a
lot of responses, mostly sarcastic ones (I need new friends). Some said the
government, some talked about religion, but one response struck me. It was
from my friend Jide (Totally his real name)! Now Jide is a lawyer and he
always has an answer for everything. His response was “the reasonable man
test”. I had never heard of this concept so I decided to consult Google.
The
reasonable man concept goes thus: The reasonable person is a phrase used in
criminal law to denote a hypothetical person in society who exercises average
skill, and judgment in conduct and who serves as a comparative standard for
determining liability. – The free online dictionary.
I’ve come
to discover that the Nigerian society pretty much functions on this concept.
Almost everyone is “the reasonable person”. We abide by a law called
“Normal”.
You go to
the university immediately after secondary school because it is normal, then you
do a year of national service because it is normal, next you look for a good
job because it is normal and then for a “good” man or woman because it is even
more normal to do so and then the kids start coming and so on.
Now there
is nothing wrong with this picture if it is truly what you want, but sometimes
I can’t help but feel that our society basically has a script prewritten for us
on how to live what is considered a normal life. A breach in this protocol
becomes a source of concern to family and even strangers. This is evident by
statements such as;
“You
have been working for three years now; it is time to settle down”
“Your
child is 3 years old now; it is time to have another one”
I wonder
how many people actually go after all the things they dreamt of growing up, and
in the sequence they dreamt of them. A lot of us give up on some ambitions and
passions because it did not make the cut on society’s normal rating scale or
because it was never the “right time” and those that have dared defile this
sequence at one point or the other, have had to endure the endless questions,
and sometimes criticisms that follow.
The truth
is when I think of all the people who have somehow changed the world,
people like Isaac Newton, Bill Gates, Nelson Mandela, Henry Ford, Mother
Theresa, The Wright Brothers and the likes, the last word that comes to mind is
normal! Most of these people did things that defied the norm at some point in
their lives, this is what made them outstanding.
So before
you make that decision today because it is normal, ask yourself this:
who determines “normal”?
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out” ~ Dr Seuss
Yemi
Olusoga is a banker by day and a dreamer by night with the crazy notion that
one day her writing will change the world! She’s addicted to cartoons and can
read just about anything in legible print.
Photos from Alex Okosi's birthday party
STELLA SPEAKS......
A young girl from my women and young girls mentoring club (Adiva),
sent me a long e-mail lamenting about people around her community and
some of her friends.
She did not understand why no one ever
noticed or talked about her when she did something good for others or to
others but whenever there was gossip and it concerned her the whole
school turned upside down.
She hated the fact that she was always
in the school gossip magazine for all the unthinkable things but when
her grades come out tops she was never mentioned.
In the mail she
was angry that her friends who had known her for ages never stood by her
nor defended her whenever she had issues. She went on and on and at
first I laughed when I finished the long mail.
So in my response I
said: ” My dear with everything you must have read and heard about me, I
am still wondering why you believe I can help you when I go through
practically the same thing almost everyday”. She responded and said she
was one of those who would actually read and hear these things and
believe them. She also apologised because she said it was very easy for
her to contribute to the gist about me even though she did not know me
personally and had never met me before.
I asked her why she
changed her mind about me and why she wanted me to talk to her about
it. She then gave the most interesting but very funny response. She
said: “Well I kinda figured that if all these things they said about me
are lies and people believed them and my friends did nothing to help
the situation then it is possible that the same things could be
happening to you.”
So I said: “Are you saying that if it had not
happened to you then you will continue to judge and condemn me without
knowing the truth thereby taking God’s job of judging from him?
After
we had cleared all that I could not help it. I had to tell her that I
was glad it happened to her too but if I had gone through the criticism
and still going through but still standing then she can overcome it too
no matter how bad.
I encouraged her and reminded her about an article I wrote earlier (Type A).
The truth is, good news and positive things are not sweet enough for the average mind.
People
who have positive lives will not have the time to sit and enjoy
another’s downfall. Busy and successful people do not have the time or
energy for nonsense and idle talk. They spend the time and energy in
looking for ways, techniques, methods, and more skills to improve their
lives, businesses, education, children and even communities.
Isn’t
it funny how we always sit and wonder how things were created? In Ibo,
we say Ndi Ocha bu agbara. It’s like saying the white man is a wizard or
supernatural being.
We all know the white men are human beings
like us or at least we claim to know. We also claim we are the same in
the eyes of God, we have brains just like they do and the only
difference is the colour of their skin.
How come they are able to
produce and manufacture things that can make me talk to someone who is
millions of miles away? How can I fly to another country when I don’t
have wings? How am I able to look for the meaning of anything and look
for who I am from a device and someone in Tibet can see the same thing
at the same time?
How am I able to have a conversation with ten
people scattered all over the world at the same time? How am I able to
put a pill in my mouth to heal a boil? How am I able to monitor what is
happening in front of my house while I am at work? How am I able to know
when a baby is crying in the crib even when in the kitchen?
Let us stop and ask ourselves these questions from time to time?
If
we, especially the Nigerian s who would rather sit in front of a
computer to talk crap or the one who would spend their money just to buy
and read something that condemns others can stop for a second and spend
that precious time and money on something that will improve their
lives, then the country will surely be a better place.
We spend so
much on importation because we are not producing the quality of
products we desire. We spend so much on vacations outside the country
because we cannot maintain the beautiful place devoid of massive natural
disasters that God has given us. We spend so much on medical care
outside the country (for those who can afford it) because the hospitals
are not equipped.
When we think about all this the first thing we
want to do is blame it all on government. Well news flash! No matter
how many rallies, associations, intelligent groups are formed, all you
will get is the same thing we have experienced for far too long “talk
talk and more talk”.
There are millions of people in Nigeria and
even more than the national census can account for, and I believe that
Nigerians are extremely intelligent, productive and creative. If we have
more people looking for ways to make things better, to educate
themselves more with things they are interested in and provide lasting
solutions to their communities, I know that things will improve.
The
best heart surgeon in America today is a Nigerian, some of the best
actors in Hollywood are Africans, some of the best footballers in the
world are Nigerians, the list is endless so there is no doubt in my mind
that if we set out to stand out and succeed there is no stopping us.
Look
at the likes of Tuface, MI, ASA, BEZ, DBANJ, PSQUARE and the other
amazing artists touring the world and acquiring more fans all over plus
making more money weekly than even some bank MDs.
Sometimes don’t
you wonder what they spend their time doing? I am sure if you see
PSQUARE rehearsing, training, recording, touring, going for meetings,
working on costumes, and writing songs you will probably pass out. Now
please tell me if these people will have the time to sit and start
judging or condemning others.
They are talked about by other
people but these same people see them and want to take pictures or get
autographs. These same people want to shake their hands and buy their
albums. These same people make them rich everyday . So who is the
foolish one? The one who is talking and enriching others or the one who
is being talked about and making money.
The most successful people
in the world today were once considered radicals, prodigals, crazy,
selfish, different, non conformists, controversial. I read a lot about
successful people because I want to be successful too (God willing) and
it occurred to me that if these people had not stepped out of the box
the society wanted them to be they will not be where they are today.
With
everything the world said about Tuface and all the drama, he is still
one of the greatest artists from Africa in this generation. People
still did all the could to support him during his wedding. Some of the
same people on the Internet who said all sorts were the ones who started
praying for him and his family. Isn’t that amazing? One minute, someone
is the most irresponsible, the next he is the best and greatest.
What
about Dele Momodu who is one of the most respected and most
industrious publishers in Africa, he was also talked about but did that
stop the success of Ovation? No way. In fact the magazine grew and
became untouchable.
I can go on and on but I guess I am just
trying to encourage people to let go of the hating, backbiting, idle
talk and evil plots.
Redirect your energy to yourself and your
family or even your community. That way you will be successful and be
remembered for something positive.
One thing we should always
remember is that no matter what we say and do to others God’s plan will
come to pass. A good example is the life of Jesus Christ. I encourage
you to read from the book of Matthew again. He went through all he did
to give us hope that even when the world comes against you, God has got
you covered.
Who God has blessed no man can curse.
My inspirational song of the week is If Nobody Talk About You by MI and TUFACE.
“One who has stopped learning is one who is dead”
I’m Closer To God Now - Cancer survivor
I was feeling very sick, but couldn’t go for extensive treatment on time because had many shows and we had been paid up front. So I had to play all the shows, decided to round it off in 2012, so that my treatment can begin in 2013. Even from January, 2013, we still had concerts to play. We had to go to Australia, but then, I was feeling very sick. My family told me not to worry after the gigs, I will go for treatment. So, I was going to a hospital in Nigeria. But they couldn’t diagnose what was wrong with me. After some months, the dermatologist advised me to travel abroad.
•Vast
During this period, what was on your mind?
I was praying. I didn’t have any hope, so I was just praying to God and I said I don’t know where these things will end. I don’t know what’s going to happen, so after the second treatment, I started feeling better. I started exercising, because the doctor said, at least you don’t have to stay and wait for the medical to work on its own, you have to exercise. It was shortly after the third chemotherapy that I was getting back to human being because I was dead already.
What did the doctor say was the cause of the blood cancer?
I asked the doctor, but he said ‘let’s leave the cause for now’. He said it’s just like when two black people make love and when the baby came out, it’s an albino. If such people ask you why they are delivered of albino, you won’t know how to explain. I felt relieved when he said this.
What gave you courage during this tough period?
When I was in the hospital, my partner was doing a very good job. He will call a producer, they will make a beat and send it to me. First of all, what kept me going was God because I saw myself dying but we got the finance to deal with the situation, which was the work of God. Besides, we were lucky to quickly meet a doctor who specialises in cancer and lungs treatment. Part of what gave me courage was my family, my partner, my C.E.O, and my manager. They were there for me, all of them travelled with me and made sure I did what I was supposed to do. They made sure I drank my juice, they made sure I took my medication, this is the second courage. When my hospital picture leaked, I was stronger because my fans prayed for me. Someone was even saying if this guy dies, I’m going to die, and I was like ‘oh my God, I have to survive.’ Also, the media encouraged me.
What lessons have you learnt from this?
First of all, I learnt that life is very precious. No matter what you do, no matter where ever you are, don’t look down on anybody because you don’t know who will help you tomorrow. Another thing is that you don’t have to be scared of death; live your normal life. At a point, I was very scared, that was when the sickness was weighing me down, but when I started getting all this courage, I stood up, I started exercising and I wasn’t scared anymore.
How did the symptoms start?
I was having chest pain from time to time. So we went to the doctor who gave me some drugs, but after some time, the pain will return. It got so bad in October last year –that was when I really fell sick. All the hospitals I visited in Nigeria tried their best, but I think it wasn’t enough because after three months, they could not diagnose anything. Some doctors will say they suspect tuberculosis, this one will tell us that I think I suspect growth. But when we got to London, I did a test, and within two days, the result came out showed that I had blood cancer.
Here in Nigeria, cancer patients are treated like animals because they lack the funds for treatment. To get cancer drug is very difficult and very costly. One chemotherapy costs up to N1.4 million, and you are going to have eight circles, so for them in Nigeria, before they even give you the treatment, you have to prove that you will be able to pay, so if you are not able to pay, they will just keep you in the hospital.
How do you think the situation can be improved in Nigeria?
That is why we have made up our minds to float a Cancer Foundation. We have spoken to some people about the foundation and they like the idea. At least every year, we should treat like 10 cancer patients. If we work on it and every Nigerian contributes and makes it work, before you know it, we can have a cancer free Nigeria. It is very possible. If you set up a cancer centre, there is a machine that once the machine scans you, it will detect it earlier. You can even kill it with normal drugs or antibiotics. Some people say cancer is a big man sickness, but now, it’s like malaria because you don’t know what causes it. Some people were asking if I smoke, but the truth is that I don’t. In the London hospital, smoking was the least thing that caused many people’s cancer.
If you have the life, spend it well, express your life and have fun. Well, I will say that whatever you believe in, just pray to that thing; if you believe in God, if you believe in whatsoever, if you believe in Allah, make sure you pray. In the past, I didn’t take prayers seriously, but now I’m a serious person. If you will have to stay with me, you will have to pray with me at least three times a day. It’s not my fault my brother, I just have to. Before, I just pray, but now I can say I have a conversation with God because of this. I’m sorry, I don’t use to do it before but now this thing has taught me to be stronger and living some kind of life which I cannot abandon.
Is there anything the doctors said you can’t do for now?
I had blood cancer, and you know I had a lot of chemotherapy; it’s always six but I had eight, that means I have plenty of things in my stomach now, so even if I get married now, I was told to use protection because if you make a baby, it might not be a complete baby. This is because of the medications. I still have to be protected for the next five months. I have to be careful of where I go to avoid contracting anything because the immune system is low for now. The doctors also said I should make sure I eat fresh food, fresh fruit, fresh fish, because the system needs something fresh, so I should avoid eating food that has been left for two days.
Thanks to God for your life...
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